Just Me and this Old Moon

Claire de lune

Accompaniment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKd0VII-l3A

Its kinda nice sit'n in the park when the moon is looking down on you. I thought to myself, Dave Matthews got it so right, "Some days it's so easy, sometimes I forget how much I want you back again. Or maybe its a game. You win some and you loose some. I know, when you find a good one, don't let her get away. Don't let her go."

Darling, I was taken out west, back to a memory that should have been so different. We were going to see you the next day and you were very much in need of a dress. Your Mom asked me to make sure it was white or cream, but to be sure it was bright. That was a solemn promise I knew I could keep. As we drove through the city the words from so many people poured through me as I read their messages. The woe and the sadness echoed in the mountains far beyond people or the world. We all wondered why you had to leave. We were struggling with the deep hopefulness that - there - just around that corner - you would walk out smiling and in one rush of extacy, life would be whole again. . .

When we arrived at a row of rather lovely boutiques, we stopped. There was much haste and bustling of the people all around. I felt in a separate world from them. It was ok though, I didn't want to be in their world. This entire day was so incredibly about you. Every fiber in my body ached for you and wanted only for you to feel joy and peace. As I walked through the main doors into an atrium filled with high glass and natural light, all I could think of was one single wish. I wished, so very much, we had come to Calgary to surprise you! I wished we had planned a secret trip to spoil you. Taking you out to all the shops, the mountains, an incredible dinner, a beautiful hotel, all just because you were so incredibly special. All because your life simply needed to be celebrated. Your shear existence intoxicated us to celebrate you completely and wholly. My love, in life you beckoned such celebration.

As I promised your Mom, the white and the cream were the only things I laid eyes on. Picking dresses, however, is no easy task for a man. But there I was in the store, not with you, feeling my mind try to understand 'goodbye', gazing upon two beautiful dresses you would look absolutely stunning in. The cream had style and a very nice flower - you would have just brought it to life. I looked then at the white dress. It was breathtaking. The white radiated in the store and the embroidery made my eyes soften, and I realized, you were only to wear white on your wedding day.

You dreamed of it.

You were destined for it.

But it would not come to pass.

It was very much my saddest thought.

At that moment I knew the story I wished we had written together: That while you were finishing your degree (as you so gracefully DID do :), I made the preparations for our travel all through France, and Spain, and Poland and all of Europe. That I chose in my heart to Love and protect you for life, and that you were the woman I knew would so lovingly bring the most incredible people into this world. I knew I would propose to you at sunset overlooking the sea. I knew we would do much travelling and enjoying friends together :). I knew this was the right story for us, and I understood why Lovers do such things in life. It is a story in our hearts and souls, one that we so powerfully often resist. It is as though we are not taught that we must be the love our partner craves. We must deliver this love to them in honor of them. Your very happiness should move gently in the wake made by lifting those you love to the places they are truly meant to ascend.

So here I sit, just me and this old moon, thinking of our fairy tale my love. I have to steal from Lana because "I tell you all the time. Heaven is a place on earth with you". I miss you so. And I want the world to understand how precious all the things in it are. You will forever be my inspiration Edytka.

Love,

Charles